Cordelia's Men
by Python Chick
Summary: Cordelia's visions have ceased and she moves back to Sunnydale. She encounters an old 'friend' and her feelings for him bring up the emotions from her past relationships...including one she hoped to forget. C/S. Please R/R.
1. Cordelia's Men: Ch. 1-4

Disclaimer: I own Keith, the other unnamed vamps, and the plot. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.  
  
Finished: December 15, 2000  
  
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~  
  
~~ Chapter One ~~  
  
As I ran from the motel to my car, the rain poured down on my shoulders and soaked my clothes and hair. I quickly got into my car and tried the ignition. It wouldn't start. *Piece of junk!* I thought as I slammed a fist down on the dashboard. My stomach growled fiercely and I got out of my car and stood under the awning of a nearby store, shivering.  
  
I looked in my purse and gaped at its emptiness, aside from the stake Angel insisted that I take. I thought I had at least enough money for a small meal at a fast food restaurant. And since when did motels stop taking personal checks...or did they ever take them? I looked at my watch, 7:56 p.m....the banks were all closed. I guess the city had given up on ATM's since they were vandalized every time a new one was installed. Where could I go now? I had no food, no room, and no money for any either. I started walking to the first place that came into my mind...Giles' house. He wouldn't turn me away...no matter how Ice Queenish I became.  
  
As I knocked quietly on his front door fifteen minutes later, I realized that I shouldn't be there. I had been living in LA for almost five years, helping Angel and Wesley fight demons and vampires that threatened the human race...maybe no one would care that I was back. When I suddenly quit having the visions, I felt dispensable and although Angel told me that he still needed my help, I couldn't convince myself of it. I guess the Powers That Be thought that Angel could find the battles without a psychic. So I packed up and left, saying tearful good-byes to Phantom Dennis, Angel, Wesley, and even Gunn.  
  
I had given up on trying to become a world famous actress when I had only received crummy commercial auditions. Ones for dishwashing detergents, vacuums, feminine products, toothpaste, shampoos...everything! I never got any jobs and pretty soon the agency couldn't find anything that I hadn't already auditioned for. When the film, sitcom and soap opera auditions appeared, I was first in line, but last on their lists. I guess it was for the best since I was still having the visions and they would probably have ended up interrupting the scenes. Yet even after the visions ceased, no directors or producers would hire me. Well, none whose movies weren't pornographic, which of course I declined immediately...I may have been from Sunnydale, but I still had my dignity.  
  
I was about to walk away when the door swung open. Giles stared at me in shock. "C-Cordelia?" he stuttered.  
  
"Giles, hi," I said in my best cheery voice despite the fact that I was soaked to the bone. I stood there shaking for a minute before he pulled me inside, taking my suitcase from my icy grip.  
  
He grabbed a blanket that was lying on the couch and wrapped it around me. "Thanks," I said, my lips quivering uncontrollably. "Sorry to just show up, but I have no money, no food and the banks are closed."  
  
"Come sit down," he said. "Do you want some tea or coffee?"  
  
"Coffee would be great, thank-you." I said graciously.  
  
"Of course, well, actually I don't exactly have any at the moment, but I can buy some at the store." he offered.  
  
"No Giles, it's okay...tea is fine." I replied quickly. "You don't have to do that. It's pouring outside."  
  
"It's no trouble at all, really." he insisted. "There's a spare bedroom on the left upstairs...you can use that. It has it's own bathroom and shower. I'll be back in no time."  
  
"Oh, wow...I mean, thanks Giles, but you don't have to--" I started.  
  
"Cordelia," he said sternly. "You will stay here until tomorrow, no questions asked. It's very dangerous out there." With that he left and closed the door behind him.  
  
Feeling defeated, a first for me, I went upstairs to my room and had a hot shower. I put on my bathrobe over top of my tank top and shorts and wrapped my hair in a towel. I heard the front door open and as I headed downstairs I figured that Giles had returned. "You know Giles, I should at least pay you for letting me stay here because--" I looked down at him, except it wasn't him...it was Spike.  
  
~~ Chapter Two ~~  
  
"Spike?" I yelled. "What are you doing here? Buffy's gonna kill you!"  
  
"Relax, Pet," he said tediously. "I'm sure Peaches told you about the friggin' chip in my head?" he asked.  
  
"He was all smiles for about an hour. I think he even laughed when he read Willow's letter...it was good for him." I replied.  
  
"Yeah? Well it's nice to know he found it amusing. Anyway, I still have it and I'm as threatening as a toddler so you've nothing to worry about."  
  
He slumped down on the couch and patted the cushion beside him, offering me the seat. "No thanks, toddlers can be pretty dangerous," I said, sitting down in an armchair across from him. He grinned at the fact that I was still a little scared of him...I was also very attracted to him. "So what are you doing here?" I asked as he took a cigarette out and lit it.  
  
"It's raining like hell out there and my place is flooding. The floor is all muddy." he explained.  
  
"Muddy? Are you still living with Harmony in that crypt?" I asked shuddering.  
  
"Harm? God, no," he replied laughing slightly. "I staked that flake a long time ago. I broke it off with her but she came back after about a month...she was way too clingy."  
  
"She always was," I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"And she cramped my style." he added, putting his cigarette out in the ashtray sitting on the coffee table. Giles must have gotten sick of Spike dropping ashes everywhere.  
  
"What style? Black jeans, black shirt, and black jacket? You look the same as Angel." I smirked.  
  
"Don't ever compare me to that soul-having pouf!" he yelled standing up. "That idiot had all the power in the world, and he smashed it!" The ring of Amarra...so that's what he was hollering about. I jumped as he yelled and looked around the room nervously. I noticed the clock, 8:34 p.m. *Where is Giles?* I thought.  
  
I stood up suddenly. "He was smart to do that!" I retorted. "If he had become Angelus again, he would have been unstoppable."  
  
Spike stalked towards me, glaring. "I could stop him...I have before."  
  
"Yeah, when Buffy sent him to Hell and you ran off with Drusilla!" I yelled standing face to face with him. "A big hero you are!"  
  
He grabbed my arms and my heart leaped into my throat. I shut my eyes expecting the worst when he suddenly kissed me. His lips pressed against mine and I shuddered at their coolness. *Do I always have this 'fight first, kiss later' effect on men?* I thought to myself. I kissed him back, ignoring my inner conscience that was screaming for me to stop. He released his grip and his arms slid around my back. I'd missed this.  
  
For nearly four years I had lived without any male contact, aside from my co-workers and the blind dates my friends, Emily and Sarina had set me up with...but they were never anything promising. I had never gone to the physical point in a relationship since Wilson Christopher had impregnated me with the demon's seed and I woke up almost ready to give birth.  
  
I pulled myself away from Spike and gasped for breath. He looked stunned as he turned away from me. "Um, I-I'm sorry," he said clearing his throat. I smirked. Spike, apologizing? "I don't know why--"  
  
"Don't worry about it," I said trying to sound casual, although I really wanted to kiss him again. "I have that effect on guys."  
  
He spun around to face me. He looked upset. "Don't tell anybody I was here." He left the house and slammed the door behind him.  
  
*It wasn't that bad.* I thought to myself just as Giles walked through the door.  
  
"Cordelia," he said. "Was Spike just here? I thought I saw him leave."  
  
"Yeah, he stopped by to complain about his place and when I told him you weren't here, he left," I said casually.  
  
"Well he looked to be in a hurry, even though it's stopped raining." he explained.  
  
I wracked my brain for an explanation. "Well, we argued and I said how he dressed like Angel. He got all defensive...I guess I just pissed him off." I said quickly, trying to sound innocent.  
  
He shrugged his shoulders and headed towards the kitchen with a grocery bag. I followed him and watched as he took four kinds of coffees...regular flavoured, Irish Cream, French Vanilla, and Hazelnut.  
  
"Giles," I said. "You didn't need to buy all of these just for me."  
  
"I didn't," he replied.  
  
"Oh," I said quietly.  
  
"I mean, I bought them for Olivia too." he corrected himself.  
  
"Olivia?" I asked him. "Did I come at a bad time? I could leave if you--"  
  
"No, Olivia is an old friend who will be visiting next week. I figured I'd buy these now to save time." he explained. "Which one would you like?" He turned on the coffee machine when I chose Irish Cream...my favorite.  
  
That night we stayed up and talked until 2:30 a.m. I told him about life in LA and why I left. He told me about the Scooby Gang. Buffy was still the Slayer and would retire at the age of 24, Willow and Tara were very powerful wiccas, and Anya and Xander were engaged.  
  
"Engaged?" I asked in disbelief. "But she was a demon!"  
  
"Cordelia," he said softly. "He couldn't wait forever for you."  
  
~~ Chapter Three ~~  
  
"He waited for me?" I questioned sarcastically. "Is that why he started dating Anya after the prom? He didn't even wait for me to go to LA!"  
  
"He was hurt too, Cordelia." Giles explained. "When you started seeing Wesley, his life crumbled. Anya came along and helped him pick up the pieces."  
  
"I didn't really like Wesley, I just thought--I don't know what I thought I just wanted to prove that I didn't need Xander." I said.  
  
"Did you?" he asked.  
  
"Of course...I always did." I replied. "I still love him, but I've moved on. The only guys I need now are Angel, Wesley, Gunn, and Dennis...they're like family."  
  
"Who's Dennis? I-if you don't mind my asking." he said.  
  
"Oh, he was my roommate back in LA." I said. "He's a ghost."  
  
Giles nodded his head slowly. "Well it's getting late," he said, breaking the silence. "And I'm quite tired. Buffy's training session went rather well today. Maybe a little too well." He put his hand on his sore back.  
  
"Yeah," I said, yawning. "I should get some sleep."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I stood at Xander's apartment door the next afternoon, hoping that he wasn't home. *I shouldn't have come here.* I thought as Anya opened the door.  
  
I put on my fake cheerful smile. "Hi Anya, is Xander home?"  
  
"Who are you?" she asked. I was glad to see that Anya hadn't lost her directness.  
  
"I'm Cordelia...I went to school with him." I replied.  
  
"Oh, you're the one that nearly destroyed Sunnydale." she said.  
  
I winced a little. "Yup, that's me."  
  
"Thanks to you, my amulet got smashed--" she started.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry. Could I please speak to him?" I asked as politely as I could.  
  
"Are you a vampire?" she asked.  
  
"No," I laughed.   
  
"Okay, then come on in." she said, holding the door open for me.  
  
She closed the door behind me as I stepped into the apartment. She left the room to get Xander and my I looked around. This was a nice place. The furniture even matched! I wondered when Xander had developed a sense of style. *Anya must have helped him.* I thought, smiling.  
  
"Cordy? Is that you?" he asked. I snapped out of my daze and looked over at him. "I didn't recognize you with a smile on your face." He smiled at me with his half-smile.  
  
"Hi Xander," I said. "It's been a long time."  
  
"Too long," he said as he walked towards me. "I've missed you." He grabbed my arms and kissed me. At first I was shocked but I started to relax as I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I pushed him away, but didn't open my eyes to look at him.  
  
"We can't do this," I said breathlessly. "It's too late for us."  
  
"No it's not," he replied. "It's just beginning." But it wasn't Xander's usual lisp I heard. My eyes flashed open as I recognized the voice. I was staring at Spike. He gave me a sexy smile as his eyes studied my face.  
  
Suddenly I sat up, breathing heavily. The room was completely dark. It was just a dream. After a few seconds when I caught my breath, I switched on the lamp beside the bed. I nearly screamed when I saw him sitting in a chair in the corner.  
  
"Spike!" I whispered, jumping out of bed. "What the hell are you doing in my room?"  
  
"Sorry, ducks." he whispered back. "But I can't seem to forget about what happened downstairs."  
  
"Nothing happened," I said quickly...maybe a little too quickly.  
  
"I see you're living in Denialville too, eh?" he asked, chuckling softly. "Maybe I'll see you there sometime."  
  
"Spike," I whispered sternly. "Get out of here or I'll scream so loudly, I'll wake up China!"  
  
"Actually," he said looking at his watch and smiling slyly. "China's already awake."  
  
"Get out!" I said, throwing a pillow at him.  
  
He caught it with one hand and grinned. "Feisty little vixen, aren't you?"  
  
He tossed it back to me and stood up. I held the pillow in both arms against my stomach as he walked towards the door. He stopped and turned around and his eyes searched my face. I suddenly thought of my dream and blushed.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing," I said turning around and looking out the window. Suddenly I felt his cool hands on my arms and my heart raced.  
  
"I can hear your heart," he whispered into my ear. "And it's telling me that this isn't 'nothing'." He spun me around and looked into my eyes. "Now, I don't know what made me kiss you downstairs, but I can't stop thinking about it and its driving me mad!"  
  
~~ Chapter Four ~~  
  
I pushed him away and stepped back from him. "Spike, there's nothing between us, " I said. "It was a freak accident, just like you and your bleached hair!" I kept the scowl on my face but smiled inside...I'd missed the Ice Queen. All those years of working with Angel had softened her; five hours in Sunnydale had brought her back.  
  
Spike narrowed his eyes and glared at me. I felt my knees weaken slightly. *What is wrong with me?* I thought. "Look, you little chit," he said fiercely. "I don't kiss humans, I drain them. There's no room for wayward romance...so when something like that happens, I deal with it!"  
  
"What are you going to do...drain me?" I smirked. "That chip in your head will be frying your undead brain until it trickles out your ears!"  
  
He took a step toward me and I felt the coolness radiating off of him and it made my skin tingle. "Maybe we should try it out...how 'bout that?" Suddenly he vamped out. I guess he expected me to flinch or scream or something but I just stood there, waiting for something new to happen.  
  
"Oh, come on, Spike," I said, rolling my eyes. "I've seen Angel's game face so many times, it's pretty much lost its 'I'm so bad and scary' effect."  
  
"Well how bout this?" he asked before he cupped my chin and kissed me.  
  
*Now this is new!* I thought. I kissed him back and I instinctively ran my tongue lightly over one of his eyeteeth and whimpered a little as I purposely cut my tongue on it...I hadn't really meant to, but something urged me to. A chill ran up my spine as he pulled me closer and kissed me harder. He had tasted the blood seeping from the small cut and continued to sup from it. I wondered if it was what Buffy did for Angel when she kissed him.  
  
Suddenly he stopped kissing me and I took a deep breath before opening my eyes. He smiled at me, closed his eyes and changed back to his human visage. It must have been hard work trying to tame the demon when there was a beautiful young woman standing in his arms dressed in a tank top and shorts, willing to give him a taste of her blood. I giggled slightly and he opened his eyes and grinned back. It wasn't an evil grin...but a mischievous one. He put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. "I don't know what this is, but it definitely isn't 'nothing'," he said. I smiled as I put my hands on either side of his neck.  
  
"You're so cold," I said, shivering slightly.  
  
"Then you'd better warm me up," he said, pulling me closer to him and kissing me softly.  
  
That night I had another dream like the previous one...but this time it was with Doyle. He knocked on Giles' door and when I answered he gave me a big grin. "Hi princess," he said in his cute Irish accent. "Look, I know you're probably mad at me and I'm sorry that I passed my visions on to you, but--"  
  
I interrupted him when I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "You're back!" I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I never thought you'd come back."  
  
"Of course," he replied. "You can't get rid of me that easily...you should know that better than anyone, Cordy."  
  
"I missed you. I didn't care about the visions...they were all I had left to remember you by. Well, them and that commercial you mumbled your way through." I said smiling. Never once did I release my grip from him. "Promise me that you'll never leave me again." I whispered.  
  
"Never," a different voice replied. "I promise." I pulled away from Doyle only to be looking into Spike's face, yet again. He grinned and vamped out before kissing me passionately and carrying me upstairs to my room. 


	2. Cordelia's Men: Ch. 5-8

Disclaimer: I own Keith, the other unnamed vamps, and the plot. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.  
  
Finished: December 15, 2000  
  
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~  
  
~~ Chapter Five ~~  
  
I woke up with a start and the room was still dim. *What's wrong with me?* I thought. *First Xander to Spike; now Doyle to Spike?* I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw that I'd only been sleeping for a couple hours. I stretched and stifled a scream when I felt a cool hand slide over my stomach. I looked beside me and nearly fell out of the bed when I saw Spike smiling at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"Is that the only question you know how to ask?" he asked.  
  
"I thought you left last night." I said.  
  
"I only went to my place for some blood. Besides, how could I leave you?" he said. "Last night was kinda fun."  
  
"Did we--" I started. I was very confused and still a little groggy.  
  
"No," he said quickly. "We just talked and stayed up half the night 'til you fell asleep."  
  
"Yeah, I remember that part," I said nodding my head. "I can't believe I had a sleepover with William the Bloody."  
  
"I know, Ice Queen...you're the only person colder than me." he joked. I playfully punched his arm but he caught my fist and pulled me close to him. Laying nose to nose on the bed, he wrapped his arm around my waist. "The sun'll be up soon," he whispered. "I should go."  
  
"Okay," I said, my voice and face revealed my disappointment.  
  
"Don't worry," he said, putting his hand on my cheek. "I'll be back after sundown." He kissed my forehead and left the room, closing the door silently behind him. I kneeled on the bed and peered out the window. After a few seconds of waiting, I saw Spike walk across the front lawn. I lightly tapped the window and he spun around. I waved and smiled as he kissed his hand out to me and waved back, then continued on his way home.  
  
I lay back down in bed and sighed. I hugged myself tightly and smiled. Last night, Spike and I shared stories of our past and laughed, but when he told me a little about Drusilla, I saw tears in his eyes. I felt so sorry for him and so I changed the subject and told him about Xander, Doyle and Wilson. As I talked about them, especially Xander, I could see the tiniest bit of jealousy in his eyes. He had told me that if he could, he would find Wilson and drain him but was a little relieved when I told him that Angel nearly beat him to death. He told me that nearly wasn't good enough.  
  
I lay on my bed and smiled at the effect that I had on him but it disappeared from my face when I suddenly I realized what my subconscious mind had been telling me in my dreams...I had fallen in love with Spike.  
  
I turned on my laptop and decided to write Angel to get my mind off of Spike. I logged into my e-mail and wrote: "Hey guys, it's me, Cordy...like you could forget. I got into Sunnydale safely, but finding a place to stay was hard since I had no cash on me. Giles took me in for the night and I'll be staying at Sunnydale Inn until I can find a more permanent place. I'm going apartment shopping in a couple days. I've already met a guy; very cute...short blonde hair, sexy English accent...he's extremely nice and funny. I really like him. And don't worry guys, especially you, ANGEL, cause I've known him since high school. He's not a demon servant...you can trust me on this." *He's not the servant; he's the demon.* I thought to myself. "Anyway, I haven't seen any of the Scoobies except for Giles. And I haven't seen Buffy around, but this is only my second day here...I'm sure I'll see her soon.  
  
You'd better mail me back cause I want to hear how its going in LA...I miss you guys! I'll write again soon. Love, Queen C.  
  
P.S. Still no visions, but if I do have one, you'll be the first to know...well technically, I will, but I'll tell you ASAP. ;)"  
  
After I sent the message and turned off the computer, I snuggled deeper under the blankets, still smelling faintly of Spike's cologne, and drifted off to sleep.  
  
~~ Chapter Six ~~  
  
"Angel," Wesley called from behind the desk of Angel Investigations. "Cordelia sent a message."  
  
Angel trudged down the stairs. "What's it say?" he asked. "And try to keep your voice down."  
  
"Sorry," he apologized quietly. His had voice hurt Angel's sensitive ears. "But you shouldn't have gone to that bar last night. Getting drunk will not solve your problem and neither will following her around." Recently, Angel had been to Sunnydale to check on Buffy, fearing that without Cordelia's visions, he wouldn't know if she were in trouble or not. He had lurked around outside her apartment and watched her on her patrols, which were sometimes accompanied by Riley. When he felt that she was safe enough, he returned to LA, only to drink his self-pity away at a nearby bar.  
  
"I don't have a problem...I only wanted to protect her," he said sternly. Wesley gave him a look of doubt. "Just read the letter." Angel ordered, closing his eyes in a failing attempt to lessen his hangover headache.  
  
Wesley's eyes skimmed the computer screen from behind his glasses. "She stayed at Giles' the first night...she's currently staying in a motel until she finds an apartment...she met up with a guy...blonde, English, nice...she likes him a lot," he said. Angel looked up worriedly. "Oh, don't worry, Angel...she says for us not to. She's known him since she was in high school."  
  
"Oh shit," Angel said, his eyes widening. He grabbed his car keys off the desk. "I'll be in Sunnydale if you need me." he said, walking out the front door of the office, still situated in the old Hyperion Hotel.  
  
"Angel!" Wesley called after him. A minute later his boss stepped back inside the building, smoke rising from his head. "It's still daytime." Wesley said, hiding the smirk on his face.  
  
"Shut up," Angel muttered as he walked to the backdoor, where he kept his convertible in the shade.  
  
After Angel left, Wesley stared after his boss for a minute, not understanding why he had to rush off to Sunnydale. He then smiled to himself, thinking he had discovered the reason. "A lovesick vampire...he'll use any excuse to see her again."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I had had another dream that morning, not Xander, not Doyle, but Wilson. Sure the guy was a creep, and I know that now, but when we were dating, I admit, I loved him. In my dream, I was back in my old apartment and Wilson and I were kissing. And just like the others, when I opened my eyes to look at him it was Spike. I asked him if he wanted to stay the night and he answered yes. As he kissed me again, I woke up. Except this time it wasn't sudden...I woke up smiling.  
  
I sat on the bed in my motel room that night and Spike sat in an armchair across the room. He was wearing a white wife-beater with a navy-blue open button front shirt overtop and, of course, his black duster and black faded jeans. He looked absolutely gorgeous in the outfit as he brought his Zippo up to the cigarette held in his mouth and took a long drag.  
  
As I sat, I watched him intently...Spike raised his eyes to meet mine. "What? You said I could smoke in here." he protested.  
  
I snapped out of my stare when I realized he was talking to me and pretended to be annoyed. "I said you could smoke when I'm not in here, or when the window is open," I stated. "And as you can see, the window is--" I stopped when I looked over at the window. "Open" I finished, smiling nervously.  
  
Spike smirked. He knew that I had been watching him.  
  
"I opened it when you were in the bathroom." he told me.  
  
"Oh," I said, nodding my head. I felt myself blush and Spike grinned at me.  
  
He took another drag from his cigarette. "Look, Ice Queen," he said, using my old nickname which, coming from him, I didn't mind all that much. "I've seen the way you've been looking at me all day. You want me don't you?" Smoke billowed out of his mouth with each word he spoke.  
  
I stood up. He was just trying to rile me up...get my heart racing...make me angry...then kiss me. I didn't care; I wanted to kiss him too. He was right...I wanted him. He'd been sitting in that chair for the past two hours...just sitting! He knew I liked him...I hoped that he didn't know that I loved him. *Surely he couldn't know...how would he?* I thought to myself.  
  
He stood up as well, but he was still too far away...a whole four steps. It was killing me. I wanted to feel his hands on me, his lips on mine...I craved it and he knew. He was playing with me like a cat plays with a mouse. I decided to give him the fight he wanted. "Why would I want you? Nobody would want you...not even your sire wanted you. She dumped you for a slimy demon!" I yelled. When I saw the hurt look on his face, I regretted every word. I had taken it too far. Playing on his one and only insecurity was low...even for the Ice Queen I used to be in high school. He angrily put his cigarette out in the ashtray and sat down in the chair again. I looked down at my feet. "I'm sorry Spike...I wasn't thinking."  
  
"No, you weren't," he yelled. "I told you that because I wanted to, not so you could use it in a stupid fight!"  
  
"I know, I'm--" I began.  
  
"Yeah, you're sorry. So what?" he said. He had a hurt look in his eyes that I hadn't ever seen before. Did Spike love me too? *No. He couldn't.* I thought. *He doesn't love anyone but Dru. And I just used her against him.*  
  
I knelt down beside him and placed my hands on his arm. "Spike," I said softly. He looked away from me. I closed my eyes as guilt overtook me...I had to tell him. Even if he rejected me, he had to know. I opened my eyes and studied his profile. "I...I love you."  
  
~~ Chapter Seven ~~  
  
Spike looked at my face with a bewildered expression on his. Neither of us spoke a word as I stood up and pulled his arms until he too was standing. I kissed him and my hands pushed his leather duster off of his shoulders. It slid down his arms and onto the floor and he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer to him. My heartbeat soared at the closeness and I felt his lips curve into a smile. I grabbed a hold of his open shirt and pulled him with me as I backed up towards the bed.  
  
When my legs touched the edge of the mattress, I lay down on the bed and pulled him with me. Our lips broke apart and I watched his face as he vamped out. I didn't mind...I didn't even think twice as he started placing light kisses on the neck. He took my arms and placed them above my head, lightly pinning them there. It was a loose enough hold that I could free my hands if I wanted to...but I didn't. I let Spike take control as he began to unbutton my shirt.  
  
Suddenly I heard someone call his name angrily. But it wasn't my voice...it was Angel's. Spike and I turned our heads to look over at the door where Angel stood. I thought about what it must look like to my former boss to see us. Spike lying on top of me, my arms pinned with one of his strong hands, the other unbuttoning my blouse, and with his game face at that...he probably thought Spike was either raping me or draining me. Angel burst into the room and grabbed Spike by the neck. He pulled him off of me and threw him against the wall. I stood up and quickly buttoned my blouse back up.  
  
"Angel!" I called angrily as he picked Spike up off the ground and punched him in the face. I grabbed Angel's arm before he could hit him again. "Stop it!" I yelled. "He wasn't doing anything!"  
  
Angel let go of Spike's shirt and pushed him lightly against the wall. "What's going on Cordelia?" he asked in his 'I'm your big brother so you'd better tell me now.' voice.  
  
"What do you think?" I asked him. "It hasn't been that long has it Angel? Only five years ago on Buffy's seventeenth birthday, right?"  
  
"Cordy, Spike is dangerous," he said, glaring at Spike, leaning against the wall. "You're coming back to LA with me." He grabbed my arm but I shrugged him off.  
  
"Angel, no!" I said harshly. "I'm almost 23 years old. I can decide what I want to do and who I want to do it with!"  
  
"Cordy--" he started.  
  
"Just leave," I said, pointing to the door.  
  
"But--"  
  
"I. Said. Go." I glared at him. "I can take care of myself."  
  
Angel looked over at Spike and glared at him. He turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him. I stepped over to the window and yelled after him. "Maybe this time you'll actually talk to her...not just stalk her from across the street!" he stopped walking but didn't turn around. "Tell Little Miss Likes-To-Fight I said 'Hi'."  
  
I shut the window and turned around to face Spike. His vamp face was gone, his left eye was bruised and his left temple was bleeding a little...Angel's stupid Claddaugh ring had cut it. Did he really believe that Buffy still wore hers for him? Not when she had Riley. *She probably doesn't even know where it is.* I thought. I walked over to Spike and dabbed at his cut with a tissue from my pocket.  
  
"Don't worry about it," he said flatly. "It'll be fine tomorrow. I heal fast."  
  
"Yeah, Angel does too," I said.  
  
"Did you tell him about us?" he asked in the same dull tone. His tone then became angrier as he continued before I could respond. "Did you write to him and tell him that I've become a nice guy and to come beat the hell out of me?"  
  
"No, of course not," I replied. "I just told him that I met a guy that was blonde, English, and that I'd known since--oh God I'm stupid!" I put a hand on my forehead and closed my eyes.  
  
"No, you're not," he said, putting his left hand on mine and pulling it down in front of me. "You're beautiful."  
  
I looked up at him and smiled. He cupped my chin with his right hand and kissed me gently. He pulled away from me to look at my face. I lifted a hand to touch his bruise. It was fading more and more, each time I looked at it. "I'm so sorry, Spike," I said. "I know I shouldn't have told him, but I had no idea that he would--"  
  
He placed a cool finger on my lips, interrupting me before I could finish. "I love you."  
  
I stared up at him in disbelief. Then a smile crept across my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He pulled my arms from around his neck and stepped back. "What if Angel comes back?" he asked.  
  
"He won't...he'll be out following Buffy around," I reassured him.  
  
"Or he could be out telling her," he said. "She loves beating on me for information...she'd jump at the chance to stake me." He grabbed his jacket off of the floor and slid it on. I hid a frown. I really wanted him to stay.  
  
When he left my room, I quickly pulled my hair into a long ponytail, grabbed my own jacket and jogged to catch up to him. "Buffy will have to deal with me first." I said. He smiled as I clasped my hand in his and we walked off to the Bronze.  
  
~~ Chapter Eight ~~  
  
We walked into the Bronze and checked to see if Buffy was there. We didn't see her so we sat down at a small table. Spike's eyes darted around nervously.  
  
"Don't worry," I said. "Nobody will bother us. If any vampires come up you can tell them I'm your meal." I grinned at him.  
  
"That's just it," he said quietly. "The other vampires know about my chip...they get pretty pissed off when they find out that I've killed one of us. They all think that I'm on the Slayer's side."  
  
"Then I'll let you bite me if it comes to it...you said the chip activates with the intent to hurt someone, right? Well, maybe without the intent to hurt me, the chip won't go off. Maybe it will 'sense' that you don't want to hurt me."  
  
Spike didn't like the idea of having to bite me. "If it comes to it, just hit me and run off. I'll find you later...but take this stake just in case." He handed me a smooth, white, and extremely sharp stake from the inside pocket of his duster. It had a small black handle and looked a little like a dagger.  
  
"Should you be carrying this around?" I asked. "What if you tripped and fell? You'd be dusted in a second. What a way to go. Anyway, I already have a stake." I opened my purse but the stake was gone. I looked up at Spike.  
  
"That was old and dull...I made you this one." he smiled. "What do you want to drink?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing," I said as the band began to play a slow song. "I want to dance."  
  
I grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the dance floor. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and I put mine around his neck. I sighed as I laid my head on his unbeating chest. Before I closed my eyes, I saw Xander dancing with Anya. He was staring at me with his jaw open. He pulled away from Anya and started walking over to me. Anya huffed angrily and went to sit down. Xander would pay for it later.  
  
"Here comes Xander," I whispered to Spike.  
  
"So?" he asked.  
  
"I think he's either looking for trouble, or going to lecture me like Angel did." I explained.  
  
Sure enough, Xander tapped Spike on the shoulder and pulled me aside. Spike stood there with an annoyed look on his face before heading to the bar.  
  
"Cordelia, I didn't know you were back in Sunnydale...how long have you been here?" he asked. "Oh yeah...and what the hell are you doing?"  
  
"You're as bad as Angel! Spike's not dangerous and he's not even able to hurt me with that chip in his head." I answered angrily.  
  
"What chip? He got that thing out a long time ago, but Buffy hasn't been able to follow him long enough to catch him in the act." he said.  
  
"What?!" I exclaimed. "He told me he still had it."  
  
"He's lying so that he can bite you the first chance he gets." Xander said.  
  
"Believe me, he's had lots of chances," I said, not intending to say it aloud.  
  
"What did you say?" he said, eyeing me suspiciously.  
  
"Forget it Xander," I said. "I can do what I want, I'm not your problem anymore. You have Anya and I have Spike. He hasn't bitten me yet, and he gave me a stake to protect myself. He wouldn't hurt me...unless I ask him to." My voice was a little harsher than expected but I didn't care. I was sick of people treating me like a kid. I turned and walked away from Xander and toward Spike at the bar. He handed me a beer and I gratefully took it while he sipped his own.  
  
"What'd he say?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing much," I answered. "Just how you're not my type and that I shouldn't be around you."  
  
"Oh," he said, nodding his head. "Cause I could've sworn I heard him tell you that I didn't have the chip in my head."  
  
I was dumbfounded...then I realized his vampiric hearing picked up our conversation. "I don't care, Spike," I said nonchalantly, feeling only a little scared. "I don't believe him...he's just jealous that I found someone better than him."  
  
Spike seemed pleased with my answer, but I was mostly trying to convince myself. Maybe Xander was just lying. I mean, 'Buffy couldn't follow him long enough'...? Buffy was the epitome of following...she wouldn't stop until she had her vamp.  
  
We finished our drinks and went for a walk. Spike started to lead me to the graveyard where he stayed. "I just need to see if those vamps took anything." he said. He motioned for me to be quiet and stay outside as he quietly slipped inside. 


	3. Cordelia's Men: Ch. 9-12

Disclaimer: I own Keith, the other unnamed vamps, and the plot. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.  
  
Finished: December 15, 2000  
  
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~  
  
~~ Chapter Nine ~~  
  
I leaned against the wall of the crypt. I didn't hear any fighting or yelling so I peeked inside. Spike was searching the place, holding a stake menacingly. When he felt the place was safe enough he gestured for me to come inside. I entered and took a look around. Surprisingly, the place was furnished, although the couches were ripped and the stuffing was spilling out. The table was scratched and the chairs were missing legs, but Spike had managed to stack books under the seats so they were moderately even. He had a couple of lamps with cracks and an old TV that sat on what looked like a dessert tray.  
  
"Nice place," I commented sarcastically. "Did you decorate it yourself?"  
  
Spike just gave me a lazy smile as he looked through some drawers of on old dresser. He rifled through some clothes until he found what he was looking for and quickly stuck it inside his pocket. "You'd be amazed at what you can find at the end of people's driveways." he said.  
  
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to his pocket.  
  
"What's what?" he played dumb...he knew exactly what I was talking about.  
  
"The thing you stuck in your pocket. Is that what you didn't want the vamps to take?" I asked, stepping towards him.  
  
"Yeah, and some other things, but they're all here." he answered, looking everywhere but at me.  
  
"Let me see it," I said, I slipped one hand around his waist inside his jacket and the other into his pocket. He realized what I was doing and tried to grab my hand but I was too quick and pulled it out. It was a picture. I flipped it over and looked at it. I gasped. It had been taken while Xander and I were dating, except his half had been torn off so I stood alone, smiling as the sun shone brightly on my long dark hair. "Where did you get this?" I asked him.  
  
"When I first had the chip I was slightly suicidal so I had to stay at Xander's...he had this picture in a photo album and I grabbed it." he explained. "I always thought you were a hot little number...just didn't think you'd like me back."  
  
I handed him the picture and hugged him. "That's the nicest thing I've heard in the last two days. Thank you."  
  
He hugged me back and buried his face in my neck. I felt his chest expand as he breathed in my perfume. "You smell so good," he whispered. I stepped back from him and pulled my hair away from my neck. Spike watched me earnestly.  
  
I bared my neck to him and took a deep breath. He understood my intention immediately. "Are you sure?" he asked, taking a step toward me.  
  
I closed my eyes and nodded. "Just don't take too much," I warned him.  
  
I heard him growl as he vamped out and gently grabbed my arms to hold me. I whimpered as his fangs pierced my neck. I jumped a little, but he held me against his body to support me. I felt blood drip down my shoulder as he drank noisily. Different feelings raced through me: pain, pleasure, excitement, and fear. He stopped and held me so I wouldn't fall. He hadn't taken much but I still felt weak.  
  
I heard a voice calling my name and I realized it was Buffy's. "Cordelia, are you okay?" she asked. I turned my head to look at her by my neck was sore. Seeing my pain, Buffy ran to Spike and punched him in his vamped out face, sending him to the ground, and catching me as I fell. She set me down on the couch and Spike stood up as she took out a stake from her belt. "So you finally got that chip out, Spike?" she asked. "Well it's too late...you've pilfered your last pint."  
  
I realized that Xander had been lying. Buffy didn't even know about his chip being removed. She hit him with a roundhouse kick and he hit the floor again. "No, Buffy," I whispered, but she didn't hear me. My throat felt very dry.  
  
Riley entered the crypt and helped me stand up. "Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded my head.  
  
"Tell Buffy to stop," I said quietly in his ear. "I let Spike bite me, that's why it didn't hurt him."  
  
Riley looked at me...he was kind of cute, but nowhere near as handsome as Spike. "You've lost a lot of blood," he said. "You don't know what you're saying. I'll get you to a hospital." He started to guide me out the door as Buffy hit Spike again. I pried Riley's hands off of my arm...his grip wasn't that tight but it took all of my strength to loosen it.  
  
She didn't even allow him to stand up long enough to prove if he had his chip or not. If he even tried to hit her, the chip would send a shock through his brain and she'd know for sure. I watched as she kicked and punched him repeatedly. She wasn't just fighting him; she was enjoying it. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time now," she said, straddling him on the ground. She held the stake in her right hand above Spike's heart. He didn't make a move to stop her and I realized that he was unconscious.  
  
She had beaten him to death...or would have if he had been alive.  
  
I weakly ran over to Buffy. Just as she was about to plunge the stake into his heart, I grabbed her arm. She nearly pulled me to the ground with it and looked up at me angrily. "Cordelia, I don't stop you from doing your job, don't stop me from doing mine."  
  
"He still has his chip," I explained quickly.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm the President," she said sarcastically.  
  
My eyes never broke contact with hers and she realized my seriousness.  
  
"Then how come he bit you?" she asked.  
  
"I let him," I sighed, this explanation was going to take all night.  
  
Spike woke up and shoved Buffy off of him. He stood up quickly and helped me stand straight. "Are you alright?" he asked, his eyes were filled with concern.  
  
"Yes, but you aren't," I said. His face was covered in bruises and cuts and his shirt was torn and blood-soaked. I gently put my hand on his cheek and he winced at my touch.  
  
"I can handle it," Spike said smiling.  
  
I remembered that Buffy and Riley were there and turned to them. "So, Xander told you about Spike and I so you decided to come kill him?"  
  
"I saw him draining you...I thought--" she began.  
  
"You think? Good for you Buffy," I said sarcastically. I was feeling much better now that I was back in Spike's arms...and quite bitter too. "Maybe you should be thinking a little bit more about your job and realize that Angel's been following you for the past week." I bit my lip. I hadn't meant to rat Angel out...but I was angry with both of them. Buffy's jaw dropped and her face became emotionless.  
  
"Angel's here?" she asked in an almost hopeful whisper. Suddenly she snapped out of it. "No! Not again...I can't wait around and watch him leave me again!" She spun around to walk out of the crypt and in a blind fury, tripped on the stairs leading to the doors. Before she hit the concrete, Angel knelt down and caught her in his arms.  
  
~~ Chapter Ten ~~  
  
Buffy looked up into Angel's eyes and swallowed hard. He helped her stand up and she took a couple steps back from where he stood.  
  
"Angel, hi," she said, trying to sound casual.  
  
"Buffy, are you okay?" he asked.  
  
She nodded her head and looked over to Riley. He stood taller and his face was filled with worry as he looked over at his Slayer. I'm sure he hoped that she was his now, although she truly loved him. He probably thought that she would forget all about him and run to Angel, just as she always had when she was worried, scared, hurt...or telepathic. But she didn't. She walked over to Riley and took his hands in hers, looking only at him.  
  
"Riley," she began, giving him a big smile. "I need to talk to Cordy, Spike, and Angel." She looked at her watch and looked back at him. "Why don't you wait for me at my place. I won't be much longer." She gave him a nervous peck on the cheek.  
  
He blindly nodded his head and left the room. He glared at Angel, and walked by him...or into his shoulder rather. Angel only returned the glare and growled as he watched him walk past.  
  
"Now, now, Peaches," Spike snickered. "Let Captain Cardboard through nicely and maybe the Slayer won't kick your ass."  
  
Angel half-grinned but quickly wiped it off of his face as Buffy glared at him. "Look Angel," she said sternly. "I don't know when or why you started following me around--"  
  
"Buffy--" he protested.  
  
She held up a hand to stop him. "But you'd better explain it soon because I can't have you running around behind my back trying to protect me...again."  
  
Angel sighed then looked over at Spike and I. He still held me but I was strong enough to stand on my own...I just didn't want to. "Cordy wrote and told me about Spike and I came to make sure he didn't hurt her." he explained quickly.  
  
Buffy nodded her head sarcastically. "And I'm sure that following me around for a week was the best way to protect her before she'd even left LA? You know, I've been sensing things all week but I figured that it was just Spike running around, stealing people's old furniture...I should've know it was you checking up on me."  
  
"Buffy," he said a little harshly. Probably a little harsher than he'd meant to, but he stood his ground. "Cordelia's stopped having her visions and I just wanted to see if you were safe." His face lightened a little as if he thought that she'd be happy that he was stalking her and throwing off her senses for her own protection.  
  
"I can handle myself...I am a Slayer, you are a vampire. I stake you guys for breakfast." she said bitterly. Angel's face fell at her tone. She'd just hurt him by comparing him to the soulless creature he used to be.  
  
Spike looked at me, shifting uncomfortably. "Maybe we should go," he suggested, nodding towards the door.  
  
"You're not going anywhere with her," Angel ordered. He saw the dried blood on my neck and glared at Spike. "Cordelia, get away from him." He started walking towards us but Buffy held out her arm across his chest to stop him.  
  
"No, he's harmless," she said. I was quite surprised that Buffy had actually taken Spike's side for once. I looked at them and saw the millions of emotions run through Buffy's face as she looked at her hand on Angel's chest. I watched as her nerves registered his cool touch and she shuddered. Angel did the same and swallowed hard. Buffy quickly pulled her hand away and turned to face Spike and I. Angel just kept staring at her and I saw him lean a little closer towards her...breathing in her scent as if it would be the last time he'd have a chance to. "You are harmless right?" she asked Spike.  
  
Spike sighed angrily. "Yes!" he yelled. "For the thousandth bloody time--yes!"  
  
I smirked at him and he turned his head to wink at me so only I could see.  
  
"Then why did--" Angel began to ask.  
  
"God Angel, is this ignorance thing new, or did I just never notice it before?" I said. I was just as annoyed as Spike was. "I let him bite me. My theory was right: no intent to actually hurt me, no chip jolt for him."  
  
"I didn't even take a whole cup," Spike argued. "I'm not that stupid."  
  
Angel and Buffy both scoffed at the same time, looked at each other nervously, then turned their attention back to Spike.  
  
"Okay," I said, feeling very annoyed. "Maybe Spike did some bad things in his past."  
  
"Like torturing and trying to kill me...twice." Angel said.  
  
"And resurrecting the Judge," Buffy added. "That was pretty stupid."  
  
"Maybe he did...but he's helped you lots of times Buffy, and you know it," I said. "He's risked his neck helping you...demons and vampires are hunting him down trying to kill him and all you can think about is the bad stuff!"  
  
"I only did it because I couldn't hurt humans," Spike grumbled. I shot him a disapproving look and he quickly shut up. I was trying to defend him and he wasn't even helping.  
  
"Look, Angel, I'm sorry for ratting you out, but Buffy would've found out sooner or later. And Buffy, I'm sorry for everything that I ever did to you and your friends, but I'm happy with Spike. And if you two can't accept that, then maybe you shouldn't even bother." I grabbed Spike's arm and started walking towards the door. He followed me out the door and when we got outside I nearly collapsed...I was still pretty weak without him to lean on.  
  
He picked me up and carried me to my car. As he drove to the motel he looked over at me. "Thanks," he said. "For standing up for me. No one has ever stood up for me before...not even Dru," he said. "All she cared about was feeding, Angelus and her creepy dolls. I don't think she ever really loved me. She was just lonely. Darla had Angelus, and she had no one." I watched him as he confessed this to me. I saw a tear slide down his cheek and I reached over and wiped it away.  
  
"I love you," I said. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."  
  
~~ Chapter Eleven ~~  
  
As we pulled into the motel parking lot he glanced over at me. "Are you sure you don't want to go anywhere else and wreak havoc on your friends?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"No," I said, grinning at his mischievous question. "I want to stay in tonight. I'm too tired to do anything but sleep."  
  
He parked my car, walked me into the room, and sat down on the bed beside me after bringing me some orange juice. I smiled at him. "You're just like Dennis...always so worried about my health and bringing me things." Spike's smile faltered in spite of his best attempts to hide his hurt feelings. I put my hand on his arm and looked at his handsome face. "Oh, Dennis is a ghost...he was my invisible roommate in LA."  
  
Spike sighed in relief as I took a sip. "I thought that he was another boyfriend or something."  
  
I laughed out loud, almost choking on the juice. "Me...and Dennis?" I shook my head. "He's too dead for me."  
  
"I'm dead too, you know," he reminded me.  
  
"Yeah, but you're undead, and I can see you...and I'm thankful for that cause you're so phat."  
  
"I'm fat? I haven't seen myself in a mirror lately, but last time I noticed I was in pretty good shape." he said and I laughed.  
  
"No! P-H-A-T. It means 'pretty hot and tempting'. I picked it up in LA." I explained. "Some guy called me that and I cried all the way home. Doyle asked me what was wrong and so I told him, and he told me that that was what the guy probably meant--and I'm probably boring the Hell out of you aren't I?"  
  
Spike smiled as he kissed me on my forehead. I didn't realize how insecure Spike could be. This wasn't like him at all.  
  
I set down my glass and turned back to Spike. I looked at him lying beside me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, pulling him against me. I kissed him with everything I felt for him and he kissed me back twice as passionately. I shivered as his cool hand grazed my stomach and landed on my waist. He pulled his lips away from mine and placed light kisses on my neck. The bite marks were small but still very sore and I gasped when he kissed them. He stopped and looked at me worriedly.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked.  
  
I nodded and smiled as I kissed him again. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I let out an aggravated growl sound...not unlike a vampire's. Spike stood up and answered the door and I heard him talking to three different voices, and although I couldn't hear what they were saying I knew exactly who it was...Angel, Buffy, and Xander.  
  
Spike held the door open and they walked in, smiling their apologies. I looked down at my shirt and picked off invisible lint. "Cordy," Xander said. "How are you feeling?"  
  
I shrugged my shoulders and Spike closed the door behind them.  
  
"I'm sorry Cordy," Xander said. "But it was such a shock to see you with him and I said the first thing that popped into my thick skull." I smiled a little but continued to pick at the invisible lint.  
  
"We're all really sorry, Cordelia," Buffy said. "We didn't know the truth and we jumped to conclusions. We only wanted to protect you."  
  
"I know," I responded. "But I've been around vampires and demons for almost as long as you have, Buffy, and I'm still alive."  
  
Spike walked around them, took off his duster and sat down in the armchair across from my bed. "I want to apologize to you too, Spike," Angel said. "Buffy and I both feel bad about what we did."  
  
Spike looked over at me. His cuts had healed and his new bruises were quickly fading, just like the first one. We sat silent for a few minutes until Xander spoke up. "Look guys, were not getting any younger, well, at least us humans aren't, so what do you say? Can we be somewhat friends again?"  
  
I smiled. "You know, you guys always choose the worst times to interrupt us...but at least you knocked this time." Spike stayed in the chair but I stood up and hugged them each in turn. First Buffy, hers was friendly and warm...a friend's hug. Angel, his was safe and supportive...a brother's hug. Xander, his was nervous and loving...a Xander hug.  
  
Buffy walked over to Spike and held out her hand. "Truce?" she asked, then added, "Temporarily, mind you. But as soon as that chip stops working, I'm coming after you with a toothpick."  
  
He slid his hand into hers and they shook. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Slayer." he said, grinning.  
  
She pulled him to his feet and he shook Angel's hand as well. Angel leaned next to his ear and I heard him whisper, "Hurt her and you die, got it?"  
  
"You don't have to worry about that. I'd never hurt her...I'm usually the one to get hurt." He winked at me and I smiled back.  
  
Xander stuck out his hand and took a step forward. Spike didn't take it though. "I'm not going to forgive you," he said seriously. He raised a fist and glared as he stalked threateningly toward him. "I don't know why Angel hasn't killed you yet though...you're the one that hurt her."  
  
Xander looked over at me quickly. "You told him?"  
  
"I...I might have mentioned it." I said.  
  
He turned to Spike and held up his hands in front of himself as a form of negotiation. "It was only a kiss...it didn't mean anything."  
  
"You'd better go," Spike suggested to him. Xander nodded and turned to leave.  
  
"Xander," I called after him. He stopped and looked back at me. "Say hi to Anya for me, okay?" I asked.  
  
"For sure." he said in his cute lisp, smiling his half-smile. He walked out the door and I gave Spike a quick look of disappointment.  
  
"I'd better get going, too," Buffy said. "Riley's waiting for me."  
  
I saw Angel close his eyes as Buffy spoke. He was clearly hurting inside. "See you later, Buffy," I called as she left. I turned my attention to Angel. I took his cool hand in mine and squeezed it sympathetically. "I'm really sorry Angel. I was scared and angry and--"  
  
"It's okay," he replied. "You're right, she would've found out sooner or later."  
  
"I'll write you when I've found a place to live and you can call me anytime you want to talk...that goes for Wesley and Gunn, too. And say hi to Dennis for me once in a while, if no one's moved in yet that is. I don't know how I'd feel if some guy came around at night to talk to a ghost in my apartment." I laughed lightly and Angel smiled. "You should do that more often," I said. "It looks good on you."  
  
"The sun will be up in a few hours," he replied. "I want to get home before it does. You know I love you, right?"  
  
I nodded and gave him another hug. This one was tighter and he rested his chin on my head. "I love you too, Angel," I whispered. "Thanks for being my hero."  
  
"No problem, kiddo," he said. "It's my job."  
  
He pulled away from me and kissed my cheek, then turned and left the room.  
  
"Bye Spike, take care of my little sister, or I'll have Buffy pay you a non-social visit."  
  
He left the room chuckling and closed the door. Spike stepped up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. "That was way too mushy for my liking. But I'm glad they're gone and that you're feeling better."  
  
I turned around to face him. "You're shirt is still covered in blood, Spike, and if you get any on my jacket I'm going to--"  
  
He kissed me suddenly and I lost my train of thought. I walked forward, forcing him to walk backward towards the bed. This time, he slid my jacket off and laughed as he fell backwards onto the bed...well okay, I pushed him onto it.  
  
He took my hands and pulled me so I was leaning over him. I held myself up with my hands and kissed him until he pulled them out from under me and I landed on top of him. He grinned and continued to kiss me. I sat up and he watched as I took out my ponytail and let my hair fall over my shoulders.  
  
"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he too sat up and held me close as he kissed me. "Or should I call you phat?" I couldn't help but giggle as he whispered the words onto my neck. Suddenly he flipped us over so I was on my back and he stood up to turn off the lights and close the heavy curtains. "It wouldn't be any fun to wake up with the sunlight shining on a huge pile of dust, now would it?"  
  
As my eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness I stood up and he walked over to me. I slipped off his shirt and wife-beater between kisses. From the tiny amount of light entering the room I could see every toned muscle on his chest, arms, and stomach and I nearly melted. He hugged me tightly as his still-human teeth grazed the side of my neck that had not been bitten. I pushed him away lightly and held up a warning finger. "No more hickeys for you, buster," I said. "People will start to think I'm a human pincushion." He growled softly as he kissed me again.  
  
~~ Chapter Twelve ~~  
  
I woke up the next morning and Spike was still sleeping with his arms wrapped around me. He hadn't let go of me all night and at first I had trouble sleeping pressed against his cool skin. But after a while I became relaxed and felt safer in his arms than I ever did with Xander. I'd always thought that one day Xander would realize how special Willow really was and that he'd leave me for her...and one day he did. Maybe not literally, but I always felt that his heart had. In Spike's arms I knew that it would never happen because vampires don't fall in love with humans...so if one does, it must be special. *At least Spike makes me feel special whenever I'm around him...I hope I make him feel special.* I thought.   
  
As I was thinking, Spike woke up and looked into my eyes. "Cecily?" he asked with a confused look on his face.  
  
"Who?" I asked him back. "Who's Cecily?"  
  
He snapped out of his daze and looked at me like he had last night. "Cordelia," he said softly. "I feel different."  
  
"Well, Spike, last night was pretty different for both of us." I said, blushing a little. I had never slept with a vampire before and he'd never slept with a human before...unless... "Who's Cecily?" I asked.  
  
"Before I was turned, I was in love with her. She didn't want anything to do with me. Said I was beneath her." he explained. He looked away from me.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked.  
  
"I killed her," he admitted. "She broke my heart and didn't think twice about stomping all over it. I told her that I loved her and she laughed at me...she destroyed me. That same night, Dru found me."  
  
I cupped his chin and turned his face back to me. "If Dru hadn't found you, we wouldn't be here together."  
  
"I know...but as soon as I woke up as a vampire I went after her." he said. His eyes dazed over as he remembered her and he seemed to be looking right through me. "I stalked her for that whole night until she let down her guard. She thought I was still the pushover that I used to be and so when I offered to walk her home she accepted...after being dared by her friends." He grinned at her mistake. It sent a chill up my spine, but not in the usual, exciting way. "I was so furious at her. I pulled her into the first alley we passed and I bit her. She was scared and confused and hurt...and I fed off of it. All of her emotions that passed through her mind passed through her blood and into my mouth. I enjoyed her fear and pain."  
  
"That's pretty gross, Spike," I said. "That might not be a story you'd want to tell to a girl the morning after you sleep with her...it's bound to scare her off."  
  
Spike snapped out of his daze suddenly...almost as if my voice had woken him up. He grabbed my arms roughly and started talking to me as if I was Cecily. "It was your own fault!" he growled angrily. "If you hadn't mocked me and wrecked me, you'd have lived to see the next year!"  
  
"Spike!" I yelled. "Wake up!" I whimpered as his fingers only gripped my arms tighter. "You're hurting me!"  
  
Suddenly Spike let out a yell and his hands flew to his temples. His chip had shocked him...it was about time. I had begun to doubt if he still had it or not. I looked down at my arms and saw the beginnings of bruises.  
  
Spike recovered from the jolt and looked over at me. "Cordy," he said. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. Are you okay?"  
  
I nodded slowly, rubbing my tender arms. "It was my fault...I startled you."  
  
Spike sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. "No," he said...it was more to himself than me. "I promised my mother that I wouldn't be like him."  
  
"Who?" I asked although I already knew the answer.  
  
"My father," he answered. "When I was little, he used to beat her and threaten her. He'd come home from the pub drunk and they'd fight. I had to stay upstairs and listen to it. He'd scream at her for stupid things." He swallowed hard before continuing and I squeezed his hand to let him know that he had my support. "Afterwards she'd come upstairs and pretend that nothing happened. She'd tuck me in and go to bed after he'd pass out downstairs. When I finally moved out, I visited every night so I could fight him off of her the next time it happened. I promised her that I'd protect her but she said 'Don't protect me, protect your wife...don't become him.' So I promised, and here I am today."  
  
I was almost afraid to ask my next question, but I had to know. "Did you kill him too?"  
  
"No, he died long before I was turned. My mother died shortly after him." he explained. "I thought you were--"  
  
"Spike, it was an accident. You didn't mean to and I understand it." I said to him.  
  
He looked down at my bruised arms and touched them gently. "I'm sorry, ducks."  
  
"I know," I replied. "I am too."  
  
He hugged me tightly and I rubbed his back soothingly. I never knew Spike could be this remorseful either. It was almost as if he had a soul.  



	4. Cordelia's Men: Ch. 13-16

Disclaimer: I own Keith, the other unnamed vamps, and the plot. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.  
  
Finished: December 15, 2000  
  
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~  
  
~~ Chapter Thirteen ~~  
  
Spike was at the butcher's that night, buying more blood, and would be back in a few minutes. I had to be quick. I sat on the bed, picked up the phone and dialed Angel's number. After a couple rings Wesley picked up. "Angel Investiga--"  
  
"Wesley it's me, I don't have much time, is Angel there?" I asked quickly.  
  
"Hi Cordy, yeah, I'll go get him," he replied.  
  
A minute later Angel came on the phone. "What's up Cordy?" he asked. "Did something happen with Spike?"  
  
"Sort of," I replied. "He's...sensitive. This morning, he called me Cecily and started talking to me as if I were her."  
  
Angel sighed. "Cecily...she was--"  
  
"The bitch that broke his heart...when he was turned he got revenge...anyway, he freaked out over her and then he nearly cried over the fact that his father used to beat his mother." I told him. "Do you think he could have his soul or anything like that? I mean, why else would he get upset over that?"  
  
"I don't think he could have his soul back unless he was cursed or if some higher power gave it back to him," he explained. "But some vampires go through a detachment phase where they look for familiar things from their human life. Nobody knows why, but it's sort of like a minor breakdown."  
  
"Did you ever go through it?" I asked.  
  
"No, I had my soul so I spent my time grieving from all the deaths I'd caused. I wanted to leave everything behind rather than find things that reminded me of them." he answered. "Plus, I had Buffy."  
  
"So this will pass? Because Spike is getting a little too weepy...I mean, I like it when he compliments me and tells me he loves me, but he can be so insecure at times and it's like he's a different vampire." I babbled to Angel. It was nice to have someone to talk to that I could trust with my life.  
  
"It should...just stick by him and act normal. But cherish these moments, Cordy...before you know it, he'll return to the Spike he used to be." he reminded me, chuckling.  
  
"I know...thanks Angel," I said. Just then Spike walked in the door carrying a grocery bag. "Um, yes, I have found a place and will be checking out tomorrow at eleven."  
  
Angel understood immediately what I was trying to do. "No problem. Don't forget to give me your new number. Bye, Cordy."  
  
"Bye." I hung up the phone and turned to Spike. "Hey lover," I said seductively, hoping he would believe that I had been talking to someone at the front desk. "Did you get your dinner?"  
  
"Yeah...but doesn't it seem odd that you're boyfriend's a bloodsucker?" he asked.  
  
"Well, my boss was, and that didn't seem weird after five years." I said. "Besides, if anyone asks me what you do for a living, I'll just tell them that you're a lawyer."  
  
Spike laughed at my joke and walked over to me. He had been passive the whole day and I was relieved to see him responding to me again. I stood up and took the bag from his hand. He put a hand on my cheek and kissed me tenderly. Despite my feelings, I pulled away from Spike and put the bag in the fridge, then walked back to the bed and folded some more clothes into my suitcase.  
  
"I'm glad that I don't have to pack all those boxes back into my car again...well, actually Angel did it for me, but I'm sure it was hard work." I smiled at Spike and he walked around the bed and stood beside me.  
  
He took my hands in his and looked at me. "Let's go out," he suggested. "We still have the whole night ahead of us."  
  
"I just need to change first," I said. "I mean, my hair is sloppy and these clothes--well, look at them! They definitely aren't 'going out' clothes." I pointed to the jogging pants and old sweater I was wearing.  
  
"You look gorgeous," he said.  
  
"I'll only be five minutes," I promised. "Then we can go."  
  
Spike drank his dinner while I changed and fixed my hair and makeup. Fifteen minutes later, we left, hand in hand, walking towards the Bronze.  
  
~~ Chapter Fourteen ~~  
  
The Bronze was packed, probably because it was a Friday. I was glad that I wouldn't have to go back to the motel and finish packing anything since the only things I used were in my suitcase. I had found a cute little apartment, not far from Buffy's, and it was quite cheap, too. I had borrowed some money from Angel for a down payment. I promised I'd pay him back as soon as I found a solid job and I'd already had four interviews in the past three days. Things were finally looking up.  
  
Spike and I sat at a quiet table and ordered our drinks. After a few minutes, I saw one of my old high school followers, Aura, sitting at a table across the room. She waved me over and I rolled my eyes at Spike. "I'll be back in a few minutes...I have to pretend that I care what she has to say." I said, standing up.  
He stood up too and leaned in close to my ear. "So let's give her something to say." he suggested. When I nodded, he wrapped his arms around me and placed a passionate kiss on my lips. I just knew she would be watching and I didn't care. I was proud of Spike. He'd really changed since I'd last seen him in LA, trying to steal the Ring of Amarra from Angel. He let go of me and sat down, grinning all the while. I felt a little lightheaded as I walked across the floor to where she sat. I noticed that Aphrodesia was sitting with her.  
  
"Oh my god, it's you, Cordy!" Aura squealed. "How are you?"  
  
I put on a plastic smile. "Fine Aura, and how are you two?" I asked, although I knew they wouldn't answer me, but skip right to the nosy questions.  
  
"Is that your boyfriend?" Aphrodesia asked.  
  
I looked over at Spike and he gave me a little wave. *Showoff,* I thought. *He can probably hear every word we're saying.* I turned back to the girls and nodded. "Yup, that's my William," I told them. "He's so nice, and so smart--"  
  
"And so cute!" Aura added. "So you lived in LA? What was it like?"  
  
"It was great!" I said, only half-lying. "I got lots of auditions for commercials and TV shows, but I felt that I was too good for them." They girls just nodded. They still thought I was the 'perfect' person that they thought I was in high school. "I got a job at this investigations office though...my boss was so nice, and quite handsome."  
  
"Who is he?" she asked. "Have we heard of him?"  
  
I looked back at Spike. "I really have to go...I can't stand being apart from him for too long." I said, which was true, but I also didn't want to discuss Angel right now...and especially to them.  
  
"Oh, we understand," Aphrodesia said, smiling. She quickly scrawled a number on a napkin and handed it to me. "Call me sometime and we can get together...like old times."  
  
"Sure, that would be great!" I said trying to sound excited. I guess they bought it because they giggled like they were still fifteen. *I'm a better actress than I thought.* I chuckled to myself. I turned and walked away, purposely dropping the napkin on the floor as I made my way through the dense crowd.  
  
I had almost reached the table where Spike was waiting for me and gasped when two men suddenly grabbed my bruised arms and stood on either side of me. They dragged me out of the Bronze and I yelled for Spike the whole way out. He tried to follow us but there were too many people in the way and they slowed him down.  
  
The men turned down an alley and threw me against the wall. Blinding pain ran through my head as it hit the wall. It was worse than the visions. I felt warm blood spill from a cut above my left eye caused by the sharp bricks on the wall. They spun me around and slapped my face, hard. One got behind me and twisted my arm behind my back as he held my neck. The other man stepped forward, smiling. His face shifted and I chuckled, in spite of the burning pain coursing through my body. They were obviously confused by my reaction.  
  
"You really think vampires scare me?" I asked them. "I'm not just a meal you know...I worked for Angelus for five years and I'm dating William the Bloody. And when you carried me out of there, he looked pretty pissed off."  
  
The vampires suddenly became scared. Every vampire knew about Angelus and Spike. They were the world's two most infamous vampires...aside from the Master.  
  
I heard hurried footsteps and a smile spread across my sore face. Spike had come to my rescue. The two vampires saw him and tried to run but I tripped them and grabbed the stake Spike had given me from my belt. Spike joined me and pulled out a stake as well. "Keep your grubby hands off my girl," he said menacingly as the two vamps stood up.  
  
"Sorry, we didn't know she was your meal, man," one vampire said. He slowly backed away but spike grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him forward. I held the stake up to the other vampire and gave him an 'I told you so' look.  
  
"She's not my meal," he said. "She's my girlfriend." I saw a flash of movement from Spike's arm and a second later the vamp was dust. The other vampire pushed me backward into Spike before I could stake him and ran away.  
  
Spike caught me and helped me stand up. He studied the gash above my left eye. "It'll be fine...it's a little deep, but not too bad. There won't be any scarring but we should clean it up." he said. I nodded as he grabbed a tissue out of my purse and started dabbing at the cut as we walked home.  
  
"Are we never going to get a chance to stay out for a whole night?" I said angrily. "Someone always starts a fight and one of us leaves bleeding."  
  
Spike just chuckled. "We'll have plenty of chances." he reassured me.  
  
~~ Chapter Fifteen ~~  
  
When we got to the motel, we noticed that my door was slightly opened. "I locked it," I said. "I double checked the lock...I always do." I began to panic.  
  
"It's probably just Angel or Buffy," he said, trying his best to calm me. "But I'll take a look to be sure...you wait here, okay?"  
  
I nodded as a tear slipped down my cheek. This had happened twice in LA, in both apartments, but the second time Dennis was able to detain the intruder long enough until Angel and Wesley arrived. Spike kissed me quickly and slipped inside the door.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked someone. "And what the hell do you think you're doing in here?"  
  
A voice mumbled a reply but was soon followed by a loud crash. I think it was the lamp on the table beside the bed. I heard a thump as someone fell to the floor and Spike ran out of the room carrying my suitcase. I peeked into the room quickly and saw a man lying on the floor. "Let's get out of here," Spike whispered. "It's not safe."  
  
He started to pull me but I refused. "I have to pay the bill," I said. "I don't want to end up like my parents."  
  
Spike let out an aggravated sigh as we quickly walked to the office. After we'd paid, we ran to my car and left. "My apartment won't be ready until tomorrow. The previous renters haven't moved out yet." I told him as I drove  
  
"Do you think Buffy feels guilty enough to let you stay there?" he asked.  
  
I shrugged and headed for her place. "But what if Riley's there...I don't want to bother her. Maybe we could go to Giles'," I suggested. I turned the car around and started driving to his place. "Wait, no we can't do that either...Olivia's there now and I don't want to intrude again." I gave up and pulled over to the side of the street. "Xander's?" I suggested, but when I saw Spike's angry face I added, "No, he's probably got Anya there."  
  
"We can always go to my place," he suggested. "It may not be a deluxe suite, but it's got a vacancy."  
  
I started up the car and drove to the cemetery. We entered the mausoleum and jarred the door with a chair. Spike lit some candles sitting on the table, dresser and TV. "We should try to stay as inconspicuous as possible. We'll stay here for a while and leave in the morning. We'll be safer in the day."  
  
"I will, but you won't," I said. I sat down on the couch. "The sun will turn you into a crispy critter."  
  
"I'll stay in the car until we find a safe place to get out," he said. "I wish I had that stupid ring. Then I could walk outside whenever I wanted."  
  
"Do you think that the chip would still hurt you if you were wearing it?" I asked.  
  
"I'm not sure, it's buried inside my brain and I think the ring only protects from outer damage." he answered.  
  
"Oh," I said nodding. "How many hours until we can leave? And why can't we stay in the car? It's chilly in here."  
  
"Because, vampires can enter your car whenever they want...it wouldn't be safe, at least here I can fight them off if they get in." He sat down beside me and put his jacket around my shoulders. It was kind of heavy but it quickly warmed up to my body temperature.  
  
"Why is it so cold in here?" I asked. "Sunnydale's on a Hellmouth for crying out loud...should it be at least a little warm?"  
  
Spike grinned. "It's cold because it's all stone in here...and it's partly underground." I leaned against his chest and he put an arm around me.  
  
"I'm scared, Spike," I whispered. "This has happened before...in LA. Except I was home and I couldn't fight him. I wasn't living with Dennis yet and I couldn't get to the phone." Tears fell from my eyes as I cried.  
  
"It's alright," he said. "You got out safely."  
  
"But not before he took something from me," I said.  
  
"What did he take? Money? Jewelry?" he asked.  
  
"No...something much more priceless." I sobbed.  
  
"What?" he asked softly, wiping my tears off of my face.  
  
"My self-esteem, my trust in people...my body." I said as more tears streamed down my face. Spike held me tighter and tried to soothe me but the memories were too real. I had buried them for so long. The bruises and cuts had eventually disappeared on the outside, but on the inside, I was still trying to heal. Angel, Doyle, and even Wesley had restored my faith, and I felt like my old, happy self again. But one likeness to that incident set me off.  
  
"Did they catch him?" he asked. I could hear the pain and anger in his voice.  
  
I shook my head. "I reported it to the police but they couldn't find him," I said. "Because he was a vampire. I partly wish that he would have drained me and left me there instead."  
  
"Don't even think like that!" Spike said. "You didn't deserve it...it wasn't your fault." He kissed my forehead. "I'll find him...somehow."  
  
We didn't talk about it much after I calmed down a little and pretty soon I fell asleep on the couch. Spike had gone for a walk...he probably went to talk to the local bars to find the snitches and find out what he could.  
  
I was shaken awake roughly and cool hands patted my cheek, still sore from the night's fight. "Spike?" I asked groggily. My eyes hadn't focused yet in the dark.  
  
"Don't you recognize me?" a strange yet familiar voice said.  
  
My eyes snapped open and I forced them to focus on the intruder. It was him...it was the rapist.  
  
~~ Chapter Sixteen ~~  
  
He tied my hands behind my back and tied my feet together too. He then covered my mouth with duct tape and picked me up. I kicked and fought as hard as I could, knocking the table over and trying to scream at the top of my lungs, but it was no use. Nobody was around and Buffy had finished patrolling over an hour ago. I prayed to God that Spike would return home and find us but he didn't. The vampire shoved me into the back of a van and slammed the doors shut. I heard the motor start and felt the vehicle lurch as he drove out of the cemetery and turned the corner sharply. The force of the turn caused me to roll over and smack my head on the side of the van...then I passed out.  
  
When I awoke, my head was pounding and I found that my hands weren't tied together but were now tied around the headboard of the large bed I was lying in. I sat up and groaned in pain as the blood rushed to my head. *Well at least I still have blood. That's a good sign.* Almost as if on cue, the vampire that had kidnapped me entered the room. "You're awake!" he exclaimed. "You've been sleeping for nearly five hours.  
  
I glared at him and he held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, it's my fault. I kidnapped you...but I didn't kill you." he said. "So I'm not all that bad."  
  
"Whatever," I mumbled.  
  
"Hey, this was my second chance to kill you...but I didn't. That night we spent together was special. Don't you think so? Allow me to introduce myself...I'm Keith. But you can call me anything you want."  
  
"Leave me alone, bastard!" I shouted.  
  
"Sorry, sweetie," he chuckled, taking a step towards me. "I can't do that. See, your boyfriend, Spike, killed my sweetheart."  
  
"So you're going to kill me to get even?" I asked. "Spike's not my boyfriend. He doesn't even like me."  
  
"No, Cordelia...I'm not going to kill you," he said, chuckling softly. "You're too beautiful to kill. Besides, you can't fool me...I know that you two are in love. It makes me sick."  
  
"How do you know my name?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, you don't remember do you?" Keith asked. "Let's see if I can refresh your memory. A package from a certain Alexander Harris...it was a cheap plastic ring right? Light blue in color? It came with an 'I'm sorry' note. You signed the paper for it."  
  
"You delivered it?" I asked.  
  
"I bought it, wrapped it, wrote the note, and you invited me in," he replied. "You see, I did my homework before I followed you to LA. I used to see you running around with that loser and think of how one day you would be mine. I heard Spike talk about you some...always wondered if it would work between us. When I heard that you moved to LA, alone, I decided to pursue you."  
  
"You didn't pursue me...you stalked me, bruised me, and destroyed me," I said bitterly. "Is that what you wanted to do?"  
  
"I didn't really care," he admitted. "I'm a vampire, you're human...you're a food group. I just wanted to have a little fun first."  
  
"Why didn't you just kill me afterwards?" I asked.  
  
"Because even then I had plans for you," he responded. "I was just never prompted to follow through with them until recently."  
  
"What happened recently that has to do with Spike and I?" I asked.  
  
"I heard that he killed Harmony a long time ago and I wanted to get him for it." he explained. "I loved her; she was beautiful, blonde, and willing to do anything for me...except stay. She told me that she loved Spike and when she left me, I felt like I died...again."  
  
"What does that have to do with me?" I asked.  
  
"Well, I heard about you two from some friends of mine...Spike stole her from me," he said. "Now I'm stealing you."  
  
"I'm friends with the Slayer...and Angelus." I said, hoping it would scare him like it did with the other vampires. "They'll come after you and hunt you down like the trash you are."  
  
"Ooh, I'm so scared," he mocked. "They'll be too busy fighting, or kissing, or breaking up to notice that you are even missing."  
  
I gave up. I was ready to try begging. "Please, please let me go. I never did anything to you...why are you doing this to me?"  
  
"Because, honey," he said leaning in close to me. "I'm going to turn you." 


	5. Cordelia's Men: Ch. 17-19

Disclaimer: I own Keith, the other unnamed vamps, and the plot. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.  
  
Finished: December 15, 2000  
  
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~  
  
~~ Chapter Seventeen ~~  
  
"Turn me?" I questioned. He just nodded. "But I love Spike now, what makes you think I'll stick around with you?"  
  
"Because, you will feel a strong bond to me. I will be your sire and you will respect me." he said, running his hands through my hair.  
  
I pulled away from him but didn't get very far since the ropes were short. "That's not always the case...I never saw Harmony with her sire...she was always running around with whoever would look at her twice."  
  
Keith slapped me hard. "Don't talk about Harmony like that!" he screamed.  
  
"And what do you think I'll say when I'm evil...that she was a nice, sweet girl? If I were you, I wouldn't get my hopes up." I said. She was his weakness, just as Dru was Spike's.  
  
"With each insult, your life expectancy decreases." he threatened. I didn't care; Spike would find me in time...I hoped.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Spike was frantic. When he'd come home that morning, Cordelia was gone. The table was knocked over and the candles were strewn all over the floor. His jacket was on the floor in front of the couch and Cordelia's suitcase was still beside the couch. There was a familiar scent in the air...something he remembered from when Harmony came back to him, but it couldn't be her, he had killed her himself. The night was almost over but he had to find her. The sun wasn't up yet so he ran to Cordelia's car. Shoving the keys in the ignition, he turned the keys and the car roared to life. He sped over to Buffy's apartment. He stood at the door for five minutes before Riley answered his buzzing.  
  
"Who is it?" he grumbled.  
  
"It's Spike," he said quickly. "I need to talk to Buffy...now."  
  
"She's sleeping," Riley said.  
  
"I don't care...it's about Cordelia," Spike said. "Let me up."  
  
"Okay," Riley punched the button to let Spike in and in less than five minutes he was on the third floor knocking on Buffy's door.  
  
Buffy answered the door and invited Spike in. "What's wrong with Cordy?" she asked.  
  
"She's gone," he said. "I went out to look for some information about this vampire and when I came back to my place, she wasn't there."  
  
"What vampire?" she questioned.  
  
"It's a long, personal story that she told me about and I went to go find him...but someone found her first." he said.  
  
"Are you sure she didn't just leave?" Riley asked.  
  
"She didn't have anywhere to go...a vampire broke into her motel room and I knocked him out." Spike explained.  
  
"Did you stake him?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No, I didn't have my stake with me," he answered. "It looks like there was a struggle at my place. Someone knocked over the table...her suitcase is still there."  
  
"I'll be ready in two minutes," she said before turning and walking into her bedroom.  
  
"She'll be fine," Riley said. "She's strong."  
  
"Yeah," Spike agreed. "But I'm not. If something happened to her I don't know what I'd do. I'd rather die than go on without her."  
  
"You won't have to," Buffy said, stepping out of her bedroom with a bag full of weapons. "We'll find her."  
  
"What's with all the weapons?" Riley asked Buffy.  
  
"We don't know if we need to fight anything yet," Buffy said. "Just being prepared." Spike swallowed hard. "Relax," she reassured him. "There's no monster that scares me."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
After Keith left the room that morning I cried for about an hour. I didn't want to die. I was finally happy in life with Spike and now this selfish bastard was going to take that away. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I tried to slip out of the ropes that held me in my deathbed but they were tight and dug into my hands. I yanked at the ropes, hoping that the force could break the headboard but it didn't do much, only cut into my wrists more. If I caused myself to bleed any more, Keith might smell it and wonder what I was trying to do. I couldn't let him find me crying. It would prove that I was weak...that I was surrendering.  
  
I sighed loudly and looked around the room. My purse was lying on the table. I perked up a little...there was a nail file inside of it, unless Keith had gone through it and removed it. I picked it up carefully with my feet and brought it onto the bed. I leaned forward and grabbed the strap with my teeth. Pulling my head back sharply, I was able to land the purse in my hands. I quickly opened the zipper and dumped the contents out into my lap. I tossed my makeup aside until I found the nail file. I began sawing at one of the ropes. I wasn't making much progress, but I didn't let up. Slowly the rope began to fray and a few minutes later, my left hand was free. I pulled the rope through the headboard and started to untie the knot around my right wrist, again, using the nail file to weaken it. No sooner did I get my wrist free and clean up my stuff off of the bed than the doorknob started to turn.  
  
~~ Chapter Eighteen ~~  
  
I quickly hid my hands behind my back, pretending that they were still tied. "Hello, Cordelia," Keith said, walking into the room. "How are you feeling? A little hungry perhaps?" I glared at him and gripped the stake that Spike had given me behind my back. *Men can be so stupid,* I thought. *He didn't even steal my stake from my purse.*  
  
I watched as he snapped his fingers and a man brought a tray of food over to my bed. He quickly left the room and closed the door behind him. Keith walked over to the bed and sat down beside the tray. "Since you can't use your hands, I'd better feed you," he said. "We don't want you to get sick now do we?"  
  
He lifted a spoonful of soup to my mouth but I pressed my lips together. I had no clue what he might have put in it and I wasn't going to take any chances, even though I was starving.  
  
"Cordelia!" he yelled. "What is your problem?"  
  
I waited until he put the spoon down before I opened my mouth to speak. "You're not Spike," I said angrily. "I will never love you, even if you turn me, it won't be me...it will be a demon. Which makes sense because only a cold-blooded killer would want to be around you!"  
  
I was about to stake him when he grabbed my arms and vamped out. "I think we've waited long enough don't you?"  
  
He buried his fangs into my neck and I felt myself grow weaker as he drank. Suddenly his head pulled away and he looked down. I had managed to shove the sharp stake into his heart and he looked up at me with a surprised look on his face as he exploded into dust. I let out a huge sigh of relief and tried to sit up. I was weak and could barely hold my head up. I dropped the stake as I forced myself to stand and slowly stumbled to the door. I gripped the handle and it took all of my strength to twist it. The door made a loud click as it opened and I peered out the door. There were guards everywhere. *Dammit!* I thought. *Even if I had the strength to try and run, I couldn't make it.*  
  
I silently tried closed the door but one of the guards turned his head and saw me. I let out a slight squeal as he started charging at me. Adrenaline pumped through my body as I slammed the door shut and propped a chair under the knob. I knew it wouldn't hold for long so I had to think of a plan of escape. I went into my purse and found the small vial of holy water and poured it on the floor in front of the door...if anything, hopefully they would slip and fall on it. I looked around, there were no windows but there were a few large paintings. Then I remembered a scene of a script I read where a window was hidden behind a painting. I ran to one of a woman riding a large black horse through a field of daisies. *How pretty.* I thought before pushing it up and off the wall and dropping it on the ground. No window. I heard the guards ramming against the door and I knew I'd be dead if they caught me.  
  
I moved to the next painting. A woman and a man sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons. *How romantic.* This painting was a little bigger and I grunted as I lifted it off the hooks. The painting clattered to the floor and sunlight poured through a small window. Not enough light to protect me from the vampires inside, but big enough that I could fit through. I unlocked the window and pushed it open. A cool breeze hit my face and I breathed in the fresh air. Two guards broke through the door and three followed behind, all in their game faces. As one slipped on the water, I heard his hands sizzle as he screamed in pain and quickly stood up.  
  
I jumped up and leaned my stomach on the window ledge. I swung my left leg over the ledge and I thanked God for the balcony below me. A guard grabbed my right foot and tried to pull me back inside. I yanked my foot out the window with surprising strength and with it came his hands into the sun. They started smoking as he fought me and then they burst into flames. He let go of my foot and I nearly fell over the balcony ledge. I heard him screaming, trying to put his hands out as I looked down to the ground.  
  
It was a long way down...at least three stories. I was safe in the sun and sat down on a chair to catch my breath. But I was still trapped. There were no stairs and nothing to break my fall below. I looked over the edge, trying to find a drainpipe or a trellis I could climb down but there was absolutely nothing.  
  
As I looked down, I saw my car drive by. I waved my arms at the driver, I couldn't see who was in the car but I hoped that it was Spike. I yelled out his name and the car screeched to a halt. The driver door opened and Buffy stepped out to look up at me. "Are you okay?" she hollered.  
  
"Yeah," I yelled back. "I'm trapped though! There's at least five up here!"  
  
Buffy turned off the ignition and She ran to the sidewalk. She opened the passenger door and someone stepped out under a blanket. My heart skipped a beat. Spike! I thought, smiling to myself. I was safe now. Buffy and Spike would come upstairs and rescue me. They entered the building and I turned around to face the guards, but they were gone. I peeked my head through the window but there was no sign of them. I carefully stepped back into the room. My purse was still on the table and my stake was lying on the bed.  
  
I crept noiselessly over to the bed and grabbed the smooth, stake that Spike had made for me. I walked slowly towards the door and peered out into the hallway. No guards out there either. I suddenly felt very scared. It was daytime so where would the guards have gone? My question was answered when one sneaked up and grabbed me from behind. I screamed and elbowed him in the stomach. I spun around, not even thinking twice about where I got the sudden burst of energy. I held up the stake and tried to bury it in his chest but he slapped my hand away and punched me in the stomach. I took a couple steps back and sucked in a deep breath.  
  
"Now you've made me really mad," I said. I kicked the vamp between the legs with all of my strength and he fell to the ground, writhing in pain. I quickly pierced his heart with my stake and he turned to dust. I continued to catch my breath as Buffy rounded the corner.  
  
"Cordy, duck!" she yelled. I fell to the floor as she flung a stake above my head, I heard a groan and turned around as I saw another guard behind me gripping the stake embedded in his chest.  
  
"Nice shot," I said as he quickly fell to dust. Buffy walked up to me and helped me stand up. She gave me a quick hug.  
  
"You've been bitten...are you okay?" she asked, inspecting my neck.  
  
"Yeah, I'll live," I replied. "Is Spike here?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "He's down the hall fighting a vamp and told me to come find you."  
  
"That means there's two more out here somewhere," I said. "Five ambushed me in the room."  
  
"I already got one other on the way here," she said. "Cordy...did you stake a vampire?"  
  
I smiled proudly. "I got two of them." I said. "One was feeding off of me and I staked him and then before you came around the corner I got another one."  
  
"Good job," she said, turning and motioning for me to follow her. "Did you learn to fight in LA?"  
  
"Yeah, Angel taught me," I replied. "He taught me a few moves...until I broke a nail and had a hissy fit. I scared him pretty good."  
  
Buffy laughed. "Well he was never really good when it came to my complaining," she said. "He always tried to avoid it and would do almost anything to make me stop," I smiled at her as she continued. "Like kissing me...it usually worked pretty well, too. There was never any complaints when it came to that part of the relationship."  
  
We rounded the corner and saw Spike fighting with a vampire at least twice his size. He held Spike off the ground by his jacket and punched him repeatedly in the face. Buffy ran up and landed a kick on his side and he dropped Spike. He fell to the floor and tried to stand. I ran over to him and helped him up.  
  
"C-Cordy," he said weakly. Blood poured from his nose, lower lip, and from a cut under his eye. "Are you okay?"  
I nodded as a tear fell from my eye. "Now I am," I said smiling. I looked over at Buffy who was making quick work of the vampire. She punched him twice in the face and he picked her up by her arms. The used the height advantage to kick him square in the face. He dropped her on the ground and tried to step on her but she rolled out from under his foot and swept his feet from under him. He fell to the ground with a loud thud and a picture fell off of a wall. Buffy whipped out her stake and tried to dust him but he kicked it out of her hand and down the hallway. He stood up as she searched for another one. She looked up just as he swung a left fist. She ducked under it and responded with a quick uppercut, which sent him stumbling back into the wall.  
  
"Buffy, catch!" I said tossing her my stake. She did a full 360 and caught the stake without even pausing and buried it in the vamp's heart. He exploded into dust and she finally stopped to catch her breath.  
  
"That's a nice stake, Cordy," she said, inspecting it as if it were a priceless antique. "Are you guys okay?"  
  
"I am, but I think Spike's a little out of it." I said.  
  
Buffy walked over to us and lifted Spike's left arm around her neck while I took his right. We got into the elevator at the end of the hall and headed down to the ground floor.  
  
"You smell like Harm," he mumbled. I had no clue what he was talking about.  
  
I looked over at Buffy and she shrugged her shoulders. I held the car door open for Buffy and she held the blanket above Spike as he climbed into the backseat. I sat down and he laid his head on my lap. As Buffy drove to my new apartment, Spike fell asleep.  
  
~~ Chapter Nineteen ~~  
  
Spike slept for the whole day on my bed. Buffy had helped me bring him inside and stayed for a little while to make sure I was okay. I assured her I was fine and she went home to get some well-deserved sleep. I lay down on the couch and I too fell asleep, only to be awakened by Spike a few hours later.  
  
"Hi," he said softly. "I missed you."  
  
I sat up and hugged him tightly, afraid that if I let him go, I'd be kidnapped again. "I love you, Spike," I said. "I was worried I'd never see you again. He said that he was going to turn me."  
  
"Who?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.  
  
"Keith," I answered. "He said that you stole Harmony from him and that he wanted to steal me from you."  
  
He looked into my eyes. "I would never let anybody steal you from me," he promised. A flash of recognition crossed his face. "Keith and Harmony...she told me about him when she came back to me. That's where I knew his scent from. It came from Harm and now you. Did that bastard bite you?"  
  
I nodded and then started to cry as I laid my head on his chest. "He's the same guy that came after me in LA," I sobbed. "He wanted to turn me to get back at you...when he bit me, I got so angry and I staked him."  
  
Spike didn't say anything for a while. When I looked up at him I noticed that a tear was falling from his eye. "Did he try anything again?" he asked, clenching his teeth.  
  
"No," I said shaking my head. "He just brought it up a lot until I staked him."  
  
He cupped my chin with his cool hand. "I love you, Cordelia," he said softly.  
  
I almost melted when he said it. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. I pulled him closer to me and kissed him. "You were so brave today," I said. "You took on that big vamp for me...you could've died."  
  
"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you either, Cordy," he said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again.  
  
"Then make me dinner," I said, smiling. "I haven't eaten all day and I starving!"  
  
He laughed. "The only thing I know how to make is blood, blood, and, oh yeah, blood!"  
  
"It's really easy," I told him. "There are these books with a bunch of measurements and ingredients and they tell you how to make stuff. They're called cookbooks."  
  
"You'll have to teach me to cook so I can surprise you sometime," he said.  
  
"Starting right now," I said. "Lesson one, always do what the head chef tells you to...if you follow my orders, then you get treated better."  
  
He nodded. "What should I do first Ms. Chase?" he asked me in a businesslike voice.  
  
"Well, let's see," I said. "We need to find out what we have to work with, find a good recipe, and wash the food before we start cooking. But first and most important step: You have to kiss me."  
  
He saluted me. "Yes ma'am!" he said. He put a hand on the back of my neck and pulled me towards him. "I think I might enjoy this cooking thing." He kissed me as I pressed him back onto the couch.  
  
"Oh, I'm pretty sure you will," I chuckled before kissing him again. "But the best part is making dessert."  
  
He grinned mischievously. "Well, what if I want my dessert first?" he asked.  
  
"Then you have to ask me nicely," I said. I stood up and walked towards the bedroom. Spike stayed sitting on the couch and looked over at me. "That's an order, buster!" I said.  
  
Spike smiled and stood up. I disappeared into the bedroom and a few seconds later, Spike followed. He wrapped his strong arms around me and captured my lips in a passionate kiss. Food was the last thing on my mind. 


End file.
